The Pirate's Revenge

The Renaissance Festival

So today was a fun day. Mom and I headed out a little after 7 this mornin to Kansas City for the Renaissance Festival. I'd like to make note here that this is the first time we've been to any Fair of this kind. Ever since we've been in Misery, we've kept saying we're gonna try to make it, and this has been the first year we finally made it happen.

Morning Drive

The Fair is actually just on the Kansas side of KC, so it was about a 2 1/2 hour drive. We were both pretty tired in that "It's-too-damned-early-so-I'm-not-quite-awake-yet" kinda way, so it was a relatively quiet trip... but a pretty one. I have to admit that Misery's a gorgeous state. Lots of trees and wooded area... quite scenic. And the temperature was very cool at that hour of the morning, so the first hour of our drive was punctuated by blankets of fog around the various and sundry bodies of water along the way.

Misery plays host to two major rivers: the Mississippi and the Missouri. The Mississippi runs a pretty straight shot along the eastern part of the state. The Missouri, however, meanders a sinuous path up and down and through the middle. So heading straight west from Columbia, we probably crossed the same river at least 2 or 3 times. Plus, there were several other smaller rivers and lakes and such... which meant lots of fog. Sometimes it would be a light blanket covering the surrounding area... sometimes we could see it rising in whisps out of a lake... and sometimes, when the road led through a narrow path through blasted cliff on either side of us, you could see a rainbow in the fog, that floated just ahead of the car. It was pretty surreal. Definately a great mood setter for stepping back in time.

The Faire

So amway, we got to the Faire in plenty of time for opening ceremonies just before 10:00. This weekend's theme was Scottish Scallywags, with a more specific storyplay called "Pirate's Revenge" that you could follow throughout the day. Essentially, the King and Queen of the Renaissance Festival (Canterbury) were having the King and Queen of Spain over for festivities... the birthday of their daughter, the Princess. I think she was engaged to the Spanish Prince or some such. Amway, the pirates come along and cause a bunch of mischief, proceeding to get their Captain chained up to the gallows awaiting hanging sometime later in the afternoon. The pirates cause a bunch of more mischief throughout the day, and then cart off the Princess during her birthday celebration, proposing a fair exchange for their Captain. We didn't catch how it played out, but I'm sure it worked out for all in the end. It was a cute storyline, into which they injected a lot of light humor (though, being pirates and all, quite a bit of raunchy humor as well).

The Fair, itself, was pretty impressive. It's a pretty elaborate setup, and at least parts of it have got to be permanent fixtures. Of course, there were lots of pirates, nobility, peasants, gypsies, musicians, wizards, fairies, a monk or two, and many others I couldn't quite tell ya what they were supposed to be... roaming around makin it all feel quite midieval. Oh, and the Slavemaster, who went about collecting "slaves" (mostly innocent fair-goers)... who'd find themselves chained to him until a volunteer came along to take their place. Neither Mother nor myself volunteered.

Plenty of shows and musical troupes going on at once, so no matter where you were in the Fair, you were sure to find something entertaining. I'm sure they had to have electricity to run the food service, but all of the "trades" and "wares" shops pretty much stayed true to the resources of the 16th century. Even the rides for the kids were plausible for the era... using basic mechanics or human manpower to operate. And these aside from the camels, elephants, donkeys, llamas, etc. The whole place positively oozed of incense... presumably to mask the many aromas spawned by the presence of several large animals and a lack of air conditioning (and, quite possibly, deodorant).

Our Activities

My new camera definately got it's first true workout... even had to change out batteries. But I did manage to take under 100 pics. *grin* That's pretty good, for me. It helped that I could edit on the spot and delete any that didn't turn out well. I'll probly still weed out several more. Mom and I caught the Living History Tour, where we got to learn how to properly curtsy to royalty (there's an official word for it, but I forget), met the executioner's apprentice, the seamstress, the herbalist, the blacksmith and the Rat Lady... who all explained their trades. Well, except for the Rat Lady... she had a really friendly li'l rat with her, but she was mostly discussing the different types of plagues in England's history... primarily, of course, the Bubonic plague, propogated by the fleas on rats. We were assured, however, that li'l Stinky was the only flea-free rat in England.

The rest of the day we spent wandering about and catching some of the ongoing storyplay. Mom stopped to look at some costumes and jewelry... she's been thinkin of goin back into bellydancing just for the exercise and therapeutic value. I had a copper coin custom-made with a dragon on one side and a celtic knot on the other. It was the closest I could get to a keychain. We stopped to watch some ladies workin on Bobbin Lace (I think that's how it's called) and Mom talked to them a bit about the art and how to get started if she could find the time... she really likes all that needlework type of crafts. Then we both became examples at the Majestic Hair Flower booth... an admittedly cool li'l hair ornament that could be turned into a hundred different patterns. I'd have kept mine if it hadn't been $30. Doh! And we took the $2 tour through the dungeon, where we could look into small cells and witness several different scenarios of midieval torture. Rather struck me as a smaller version of the London Dungeon.

Shows

We caught the Princess' birthday party, and watched while she was whisked away by pirates. Then they put on the silliest show that was a game called Human Combat Chess Match. A thoroughly dishonest individual (supposedly from Russia, or some such) directed one group of people serving as chess pieces on one side of the board... playing against the Mayor of Canterbory, who kept hiring and firing various individuals to direct the people on the other side of the board. Anytime a check was made, a duel ensued between the two "pieces". Whether it was a gaggle of "ladies of the evening" (counting as one piece) against one pirate, or a stablehand against a castle gaurd... the pairings usually ended up quite silly. And they pulled li'l balls from the hat of the equally dishonest referree to determine what kind of conditions they might have to follow (such as hopping on one foot) and what weapon to use (everything from broadsword to rapiers to poles to wooden spoons). It was extremely silly... but fun to watch. Which was probably the point. The only problem was that we could hardly hear the players. I didn't even realize until halfway through the game that the whole area was surrounded by some pretty damned loud cicadas. But that's okay... we got the gist. Oh, and by the way: the Mayor won out. :)

My Kidnappees

We finally pooped out and decided to get going by a little after 5:00. But not until after I managed to separately kidnap a noble, a pirate, and another dood I'm not sure what he was supposed to be, but he was half-nood, extremely cute, and providing the rather strenuous "manpower" for one of the rides so he was quite nicely hot and glossy... all who graciously consented to a photo op with me. From behind. They all looked at me a li'l funny, but were great sports about it. Only the noble good-naturedly demanded to hear the long story about my journal and "anonymous pic" crusade before he agreed to give his back (and butt) to the camera. He then asked me to make sure to remember the Anonymous Lord Seymour in my journal. And so I have. *grin*

The Drive Home

We were pretty exhausted by the time we headed home. All we'd eaten at the Fair was some Chicken & Chips (we'd opted against the famed Roasted Turkey Leg), so we stopped by Micky D's for dinner, then drove a mostly silent ride home. Until Mom turned up the air conditioning to stay awake. Which was NOT gonna work for me, so we spent the rest of the trip playin movie themed 20-Questions. The regular version has always been our traditional long-trip occupation, but I figured we'd try somethin new. We've taken to playin our Family Sunday Night "Taboo" games using only media references, so it was a natural idea.

Home Again

Amway, so ends our eventful day. Mom dropped me off at home, and I gave Ms. Pukesalot some loves before sitting down to blog while it was all still fresh in my head. Now I just gotta figure up which pics to post on Wednesday. :) But not tonight. I'm way too tired to make decisions right now.

In fact, I believe it's an excellent time to veg a li'l in front of Nick-at-Night or USA until it's time for bed. G'night!