Anybody Got a Machete?

Pain

So I’m hurtin today. It’s one of those days when I just wish somebody’d chop off my head. Mom always asks for arsenic when hers get like this… and insists nobody loves her when we won’t give her any… lol The cause of my current joy could be any number of factors, but I’d be willing to wager the stress of dealing with both my home and work debacles have contributed their fair share.

I visited the chiropractor yesterday on the way home from work, and it helped a little bit. But I still feel like I have a nerve pinched at the base of my skull… and the heat and pain (not to mention nausea) are radiating through my head, neck and down my arm. However, I’m not sure if more professional crackin and poppin will help anything today… sometimes it’s just the swelling from my bones getting forced back into place that presses on the nerves. *sigh* I’ll put more ice on it tonight, and probably go in again on Monday. I want to hit this thing completely outta the park by Thursday.

I took a full dose of meds at lunch, and am waiting for them to dull things a li’l bit. I don’t dare take much more until I get home… else I won’t be able to GET home. I probly would have stayed in this mornin, knocked myself out on drugs and hid under a pillow, if my job weren’t in the balance. As it is, I woke up around 4 this morning, unable to get back to sleep, but still groggy on the meds I took before I crashed. Kinda sucked all around.

Job News

However, at least I had some pretty good news on the job balance issue this mornin. The Office Manager IM’d today to tell me that the PM’s told The Boss, in their meeting this morning, precisely what she’s been telling him about my position… essentially that I actually AM useful. In fact, one of them actually got pissed off that he was even questioning it. Which made me feel a lot better. I have a real good rapport with the PM’s from working so closely with them all the time, and I now know they’ve got my back.

However, regardless the support I have in my corner, the only true result I can count on is the progress of the paperwork to make me permanent. And that left the office today on it’s journey up the signature line. There’s still the possibility it could be stalled somewhere in the process, but I think the major hurdle has been surpassed.

Problem Solving

Of course, Bus Snob gave me the sensible Good Friend Lecture on how I could better look after my interests instead of leaving my fate up to the good will of others… and ideas on better communicating with The Boss (who evidently has no idea what I do) to facilitate a more positive interaction with him. Well, our convo included a lotta things… mostly relating to the fact that I’ve found myself in a few situations lately where I’ve been put on the defensive, and discussing different ways to deal with it. I know I tend to trust peeps at their word (within reason) until they give me reason to believe otherwise. I suppose I could be too trusting in some respects, but I guess it’s part of that “treating others how I’d want to be treated myself” train of thought. I know my friend’s point is that I shouldn’t do so to the detriment of my own interests or well being.

Now, I’ll say this much about sensible lectures… I’m great at giving them. However, I’m still workin on better learning how to take them without getting defensive. lol Though, I think my head wasn’t helping matters much in that endeavor. However, my friend did acknowledge that it’s much easier to be able to dispense such advice from an outside perspective… like it was easy for me to advise her this morning not to let another person’s spiteful words anger her. It’s easy to see the logic of what somebody’s telling you, but it frequently doesn’t seem quite so simple from the inside.

Swallowing my Pride

Amway, that’s about all I can contribute for today. Except to make note that I finally broke down and pulled the size 14 jeans outta storage today. It’s a nasty wake-up call as to the neglect of my health, and a blow to the pride after my brilliant success last year of gettin myself to the point that 12’s were hangin offa me again. But at least I can breathe and I’m MUCH more comfy. I’m sure I’ll get back to my exercise regime (the schedule I started several weeks ago long fell to the wayside, btw) and better eating habits eventually. Though, it may not be until after the holidays. Those are a HORRIBLE time to try to be good… lol