Post Script

As an addendum to "Fractures", I'd like to point out that it's time like these when I'm VERY glad I live with none but a li'l furry companion. I have lived my life alone so far... pretty much due to choice. Not necessarily always conscious choices, but definately my own.

I'm not sure if I WANT my current living arrangement to ever change... knowing life, of course, it is most assured TO change, whether I want it to or not. But for the most part, I'm pretty happy with it as it is now. Sometimes, I feel a twinge of a need to find companionship. But then, when I shake myself awake, I realize that I'd have no idea what to do with it if I ever found it. And sometimes I feel my biological clock tickin away so very lightly... but then I'm thankful for the freedom I enjoy for being child-free. Especially financial freedom.

So I figure I'd best leave "companionship" up to the vagaries of life... and deal with figuring it out when it bops me across the head. For now, I'm quite content for my home to be my haven from outside contact. To be in my own head and my own space, after HAVING to deal with people all day at work. On days like these, when I'm feeling out of sync, it's good to know I can go home and NOT deal with anybody. I can let the answering machine answer the phone, and I can simply not answer the knock on the door. Rood, yes, I know... but I can almost gaurantee it's less offensive than a potential conversation.

When I went back home for a few years, my folks helpin me out when I found myself in a financial bind I couldn't get myself out of alone... some days were definately a strain. When I needed to be alone, but turned around and there they were, all of us feeding off of each other (Take a wild guess where I inherited my empathy from). And I tried roommates TWICE in my life... once when I first left home, and once in the barracks at my duty station in the Navy. Neither situation lasted long.

Yeah, my anti-social tendencies will pose a small problem if I suddenly run into the love of my life... but then I suppose I'll just have to learn how to adapt. :)

For now, I'm simply very glad I can go home and shut out the world that is so roodly out of sync with me today.

Fractures

Fractures

So that's actually the name of a short story I wrote... which has been quagmired amidst the ministrations of the evil red pen for several years now. Pretty cool story... it may actually have a shot at publication if I'd ever sit my ass down to finish the dreaded editing process.

But more to the point, "Fractured" is how I feel at the moment. It's not an unusual occurrence... when I don't feel quite in sync with the rest of the world. I highly suspect hormones... since it frequently takes place during PMS. I imagine it's a fairly universal feeling. It used to freak and/or bum me out. But these days, I just try to recognize it for what it is, take it in stride, let myself feel it, but try to minimize it's effect on my interactions and relationships with peeps. Actually, I usually try to minimize my interaction with peeps, period, while I'm feeling like this. I tend to either take things outta proportion, rub off on peeps, or let them rub off on me. Like my empathy goin into overdrive... only crookedly. Yeah, I'm sure I made that really clear.


O Migraine, O Antagonist

Pain and drugs don't help, either... something else I'm partially attributing to PMS. And the extremely low temperatures and pressures outside. I've been havin migraines out the ying yang lately. *sigh* Perhaps that may be one more benny to moving to San Diego: consistent environment. If the pollution doesn't set my head off. *sigh again*

I thought I'd had my weekend migraine beat yesterday, only a pleasant trip to the optometrist and his bright shiny light brought everything crashing back. I'm okay at the moment, though. Got that "fractured" thing goin on, and gettin the meds outta my system, so I've been a bit off all day... but no pain, so that's a definate plus.

I was just chatting with Fussbudget and tellin her about how I'm feelin a bit "off" today. And she asks me "don't you always feel THAT way?" *snicker* I told her sometimes more than others. :) Sometimes she really seems to be in sync with me... even when I'm OUT of sync... if that make sense. Just this mornin she mentioned knowing that I'd had a migraine... though I hadn't talked to her in several days. Of course, I've developed some recognizable patterns... I tend to drop off the message board, or the internet altogether, when I'm not feeling well. But that also happens when I get really busy. Mebbe we were separated at birth... mebbe I'm predictable. Or mebbe a bit of both. ;)

Crazy Town

Had a lotta excitement in Columbia last week... cop was shot just a few blocks from my apartment and the suspect left his car in the parking lot of the building next to mine, so I woke to the police insistently banging on my door at 3 am. I think that was Wednesday or Thursday or some such. The drama continued to unfold when the police closed in on the dood later the next day... he shot another cop in the arm, then blew his own brains away.

Good grief... I mean, this is Columbia, people. Sheesh.

I think the first cop is still in ICU, but is no longer in a coma. The town has really pulled together for her... she's only 23 years old. And in more bizarre news, the Sheriff of our neighboring county blew out his OWN brains that same day. I think somebody blew some crazy dust across Misery this last month.

When I posted the incident it to the message board I belong to, I had a few peeps caution me to be careful. I guess part of me SHOULD be a bit concerned... but I suppose part of living up on a big city has always stayed with me. Even if it this sort of thing can shock me again... it really doesn't scare me. If I'd grown up scared after every gruesome news story, I pretty much would have been immobilized my entire childhood. Not that I'm not careful, mind you. "Stupid" and "Not scared" are two different animals.

Personal Gains (or losses, depending on how ya look at it)

Not much else goin on 'round here. Stayin VERY busy at work... I knew the move out into the front area would be a good thing. In fact, work is backin up a bit, and I may decide to put in some quality O/T (for which I won't be paid) to catch up. But I'm not quite there yet. I mean, my brain has already punched it's timeclock for today, so I decided to post a li'l here before I head home. So I'm not quite desparate enough for overtime yet. 'Sides... I know this place... it always moves in cycles. It'll slow down again soon.

I've finally cut myself off from e-Bay. I still have a few open auctions... for which I'll accept victory or defeat with equal relief... I'm leavin em up to fate. And I moved on from video games to jewelry. Yeah, I'm not that big on jewelry, but it always starts out as "Ya know... I've been meaning to look for some more silver pendants" and now I'm gonna have to reorganize an entire drawer of my li'l jewerly armoir to accomodate all the new pendants. I swear... e-Bay is just as dangerous as Wal-Mart... ya find fifty million li'l bargains... which add up.

Welp... that's about it. I have just enough time to get tomorrow's calendars printed up before packin up and headin home. I can't think of any other exciting news... and if I do, I'll be sure to post it.

Until then... laters!

Testing... 1, 2, 3...

Hiya... so I'm mostly here for a test. Playin around with RSS settings on My Yahoo. And since I don't have any recent posts within the last week, it's not showin anything up.

So I'll report on a few updates:

Officially on the move... soon

1) I got a call last Thursday from the duplex community I applied to last month... they just had a unit open up! Woo-hoo! I'm goin to check it out after work today. I told Mom, and since she's just as excited about it as I am, I invited her to come along if she so wished. Which she did. :) So I should be able to finalize paperwork on it tonight. My lease at my current apartment isn't up til June, but they'll hold onto the duplex for me until I can move in. Which is awesome.

New Furniture

2) It'd be nice to say that in preparation for the move, I went ahead and bought some new furniture. But it was more like wishful thinking... and grabbin it while it was still available. Just days before I heard from the duplex community, I discovered some absolutely adorable wicker-drawer tables and dressers at the grocery store. Which was strange, as I'd NEVER seen them stock any kind of furniture before... and it was disappearing fast. In anticipation of a hopeful move to a bigger place in the near future, I went ahead and stocked up on 2 larger 6-drawer units, 3 3-drawer units, and 3 single-drawer end tables.

Since they're in boxes waiting for assembly, most of them were stuffed into a closet. I put together one of the 3-drawer and one of the 6-drawer units, as I had places I could use them now. I have to say the larger unit works AWESOME in the kitchen, where I used to have a kind of catch-all table... now I've increased my kitchen drawer capacity by 6! Oh, I DO love getting organized. Okay... MORE organized. *grin*

Changing Tastes

One thing I realized is that I don't think I would have found these drawers/tables attractive just 3 or 4 years ago... they're kinda rustic lookin. But hey... tastes change. Or mebbe I'm just beginning to develop a particular taste in furniture. In the past, I've known what I particularly DON'T like... but never really had a taste for what I DID like. But I'm slowly but surely converting my home from hodge-podge hand-me-downs, to a style that's distinctly me.

Financial Freedom

I was talkin to IHOP Buddy this weekend, and discussing all the things that are on my list to spend money on. Which will take place equally slowly but surely over the next several years. We mutually agreed that it's a good thing I'm not havin kids anytime soon... I just enjoy spending my money on so many other things right now! After seeing many of my friends with kids struggle, I truly appreciate my financial freedom.

The Video Game Bug

3) And right now, some of that money is goin towards my Video Game Bug. I've been hangin out on e-bay for the last few weeks, huntin down deals for games on just about every platform I own... including the new GameCube I just bought. I'm gonna be busy for months! At least I already had Christmas money to work with, so I didn't have to load up a credit card unnecessarily. Of course, "necessary" is purely subjective... but it's MY card, so only MY subjective opinion counts, right? *grin*

Another Amber Alert

4) On a more somber note: another amber alert came out this week. I don't think I've even heard of any in the entire time I've been in Columbia, and now there's two within a few months. At least time it wasn't gruesome... a lady left her baby and 5-year old with a sitter, and when she came back, only the 5-year old was there. Doh! Still no news, yet, but I'll try to keep posted.

Tsunami Blues

5) Those tsunamis in Asia have now claimed over 150,000 lives in 12 countries. :( They're well past done, but the poorer countries are now fighting disease, homelessness, and unsterile conditions. I've been meaning to donate to the Red Cross... but recently heard that they're getting SO much money now, and are concerned that the initial outpouring of help will be short-lived and dry up soon. I think I may hold off for the next few waves... or even possibly set up a monthly donation. I'm still thinkin on it.

Elsewise, a LOT of the United Nations are sending over tons of help... some even forgiving outstanding debts and such. I just hope it will be enough to help pull these countries outta the muck. *sigh*

Local Violence

6) University sent out a Clery Release on the 8th regarding a car found burning in one of the University parking garages... and then a dead body in the trunk. *shakin head* That garage is simply cursed, that's all I can say. Some dood took a header off the roof of it just a few months ago, and there was another would-be jumper within the last year.

I honestly don't seem to recall hearing about so much... violent news 'round these parts. Guess I've gotten so acclimated to a mid-size town with mid-size crime that I've also become a li'l complacent. It was rather nice after the daily murders, rapes, rumbles, road-rage, etc. that permeated the news back home in San Diego. I'd become numb... now I can become shocked again. I suppose that's a good thing, in a roundabout sort of way.

Amway, that's about it for now. Gotta go set up for a large presentation in a few minutes.

Laters!