More "Don't Make Me!" Dreams

Okay, I think I'm seeing a trend to these dreams: Fear of being stripped of my choice.

So another bizarre dream stayed in my memory from last night. In fact, it lingered long enough for me to think over it awhile even after I woke up.

First, I'm in a mall and as soon as I'm done shopping and step out to the parking lot, a couple of guys try to kidnap me. So I fight them off, and run back into the mall. I keep seeing folks I know and think I trust, and try to get them to help me. But each time I start to go with them, it looks like they're taking me straight to the kidnappers, so I bolt and try another route.

This happens through a few tries, and it starts to get dark outside. The crowd of folks is getting thin. My route to the parking lot is blocked, and I can't even see my car out there to try to bolt straight to it. I finally see that my options are nil, and I simply let the dudes cart me off. They don't handle me roughly or anything, but I know that I don't have a choice. They end up taking me to some sort of community. Somehow, I know that this community is a training facility of sorts... training for combat. Which I want nothing to do with.

I'm free to wander about the community as I wish, but I cannot leave. I try a few times, but my escape is blocked each time. The people of the community try to befriend me, but I know that they are trying to win me over to their cause, and I shut myself off from them. I reject every friendly gesture... even though I eventually rather like them and wish I could let myself just go with it.

The dream's pretty lengthy... I'm invited into a school/lecture room type atmosphere, a performance (entertainment) of some sort, a couple of girls braiding my hair (which I promptly cut off), sports play... all sorts of situations. And each time, I get colder and colder with each attempt to draw me in.

With each rejection, I keep expecting them to switch tactics... start torture or some such shit. I resolve not to show any kidness to any animals or people, though I'd like to, cuz I'm afraid they'd try to torture THEM to get to me, too.

They never got to that by time I woke up, but it was a pretty grim dream. I spent every moment shutting myself off further and futher from everybody and everything. And, strangely, I never saw any evidence at all to the place actually being a combat training facility. It was just a friendly li'l community... that didn't allow me to leave. So I'm not sure if it was one of those strange dream situations where you just KNOW something that you have no reason to know... or if my dislike and assumption of the place (that it was a place geared to breed violence) was a product of my mind objecting to my choice being taken away from me. Paranoia.

If I chose to think too deeply on it, I could parallel the dream to my life... only trusting even the people I know to a certain degree... shutting myself off from the world due to an unfounded social anxiety, even though I'd like to be more open... highly valuing my ability to choose my path in life... not necessarily valuing the same goals that others aspire towards for happiness.

But that would be thinking to much, and I gotta get back to work. :)