Allergic

So I was talkin to Bus Snob the other day, and the conversation turned to the ever-present issue of pain and drugs, drugs and pain, in my world. She made a joking comment about junkies and our drugs... it's an old joke between us, and I pretty much laugh and agree. But I've become somewhat concerned about my increasing dependency on pain medication lately... and have attempted (mostly with failure) to cut back some in an effort to break the cycle. But I know I'm just a big ol' wimp... and have come to the conclusion that I'm simply allergic to pain.

The problem is: ever since about 3 days after I went off my amitriptyline a few weeks ago, serious neck and migraine pain has been a daily visitor... and I'm not really sure whether the weaning is the true instigator or not. I've faced a myriad of typical triggers recently... stress, strain, low weather pressure front, PMS... you name it, it's happened in the last few weeks. And the wonderful thing about pain is that it compounds on itself. My head feeds off my neck, which in turn sets off my stomach. I get tensed up, which starts the cycle again with my neck. Which is extremely swollen at the moment. I've trying Advil and lots of ice the last few days to reduce the swelling, but that's just more drugs to add to the menagerie.

So since I'm taking one form of pain medication or another every single day... I have to wonder if part of the pain is withdrawal, considering my primary meds are barbituates and habit forming. I've caught the hint of the beginnings of that pattern in the past, and took quick measures to cut it off at the quick. This time's not so easy. I've tried paying close attention to relaxing, getting up and walking periodically at work (which Bus Snob has also been helpful with as a little reminder alarm *grin*) , drinking lots of fluids... non-drug preventatives. But it just seems the more attention and effort I give the matter, the more I'm simply aware of the pain. If that makes sense.

Amway, I'm inevitably wondering if going back on the amitrip could be an answer. I dunno. I've rather liked actually waking up to my alarm clock in the mornings and actually getting to work in a relatively timely fashion. But if I go back, I want to do my best to be aware and understand all of the possible sources for this pain... so I know that the preventative medication is really the answer, and not just a cessation of other triggers. I may try to stick it out just a little bit longer... until mebbe this pressure front moves through, or I'm past the hormones, or at least get this swelling in my neck down. We'll see how it goes.

It's not an end of the world problem, just one I'm still trying thinking through and hope to find a solution soon.