Rollin Right Along

So I'm just rollin right along on the positive train. Yesterday, when I picked Gram up for her eye appointment (3 1/2 hours total time to accomplish a 5 minute laser procedure... *shaking head*), she looked at me and asked "Are you on a diet? Are you losing weight?" I was tickled pink. :)

I haven't told anybody about my weight loss goals... primarily cuz half the time (okay, more than half the time) it's a passing inspiration that never seems to last long enough to actually start sacrificing something. But since my migraine cleared up last week, I've been pretty successful at keeping my intake down. And I'm not even eating anything special... just my usual meals, only smaller portions. And I've cut out the crap... amazingly, I've not felt inclined to touch my jar of peanut m&m's I keep eternally refilled at my desk at work. Of course, such disinclination will probably not last long (especially around hormone munchie time)... and then I'll face my true challenge. But I'm seeing results (pants are definately gettin looser)... so hopefully that will be enough to keep up my motivation. I've done it once... I can do it again.

And I'm feeling really good. I think both kinds of my preventative medication were suppressing me... either physically or emotionally. I was totally unmotivated to do anything other than survive the next day. But I'm feeling incredibly positive... motivated, energized, clear-headed. Of course, it could be for any number of factors... not just the discontinuation of the meds. The onset of Spring, the increase in workload at work, my upcoming trip to San Diego in the Fall, my healthier diet. But I don't discount the absence of those meds, either.

When I discontinued the Propranalol, I thought I'd rather deal with the physical downer of the Amitriptyline rather than the depression. But now I don't think I want either of them. I've been relishing my sense of accomplishment at work... successfully tackling each new set of tasks handed to me at an increasing rate, with efficiency. On the Amitrip., I couldn't even get my brain in gear until about 11:00. I simply can't afford to do that now. Especially since the Office Manager gave her notice on Monday, and we're all going to have to start incorporating her work into our own until we can find a replacement.

Now don't get me wrong... I'm back to the condition I was in before I started trying ANY of the preventative meds: my neck is in constant discomfort... threatening to stiffen up at any time and trigger a migraine. But I think I'd rather take my chances with the pain. At least for now. I'll probly change my mind the next time I'm struck with another doozy.

However, I'm also hoping to experiment with a different tact: exercise (adrenaline does wonders for pain)... which I've been hoping to do anyway for the weight loss. I've been gauging myself in the evenings when I get home from work, and I've just been too exhausted to exercise. So I'm going to try mornings again. Yes, a huge laugh to anybody who knows me well. I'm NOT a morning person. But... without the Amitrip., I may have a chance. I did it once before (morning exercise) for a while... but it didn't last long. I think the effort died a tragic death after I accidentally locked myself out of the apartment for my morning walk, and I had to walk to my folks' place to get the extra key they keep. But I have a treadmill now... so we'll see.

I've been slowly working my way to getting up earlier (and going to bed earlier, too) each morning. I'm having mixed results, but I don't mind taking this effort slowly. I've burned myself out too many times in the past by doing too much at once.

So that's where I'm at for now. We'll see how it goes. :)